When Ecstasy Turns to Misery

When Ecstasy Turns to Misery

Oct 29

When Ecstasy Turns to MiseryBy Joe Schimmel

In an ABC news story entitled “Study: Teen Ecstasy Use Rising Fast,” the author states, “Experts say the big problem with Ecstasy is its image — one that is so positive, it is almost as though some clever marketing wizard came up with a campaign for it.” No doubt about it, the illegal drug Ecstasy is being glamorized before millions of impressionable young people, who are totally unaware of its deadly dangers. And yes, there is a wizard of sorts, as we shall see, working behind the scenes, pulling the strings!

In Miley Cyrus’ 2013 hit “We Can’t Stop” many were outraged with lyrics that many see as clearly glorifying destructive and potentially deadly drugs like cocaine and ecstasy. Cyrus appears to make multiple references to drugs with lyrics like “We like to party / dancing with MOLLY,” referring to the popular party drug ecstasy, and “Everyone in line in the bathroom / Trying to GET A LINE in the bathroom,” referring to cocaine. When one considers Cyrus’ drug references, the title of her song “We Can’t Stop,” sounds more like an admission to defeat by a drug addict than anything else.

Tragically, rather than condemning illegal drug use as a good role model for children, Cyrus appears to be glorifying illicit drug use before her huge and vulnerable young fan base. Cyrus’ perceived posturing as a druggy poster child for the world’s impressionable youth falls on the heels of Madonna’s promotion of one of the same drugs, ecstasy. Before 150,000 Electronic Dance Music (EDM) fans at Miami’s Ultra Music Festival, Madonna asked, while wearing a shirt with “MDNA” emblazoned across it, “How many people in this crowd have seen MOLLY?” Many in the crowd who were blazing on ecstasy, roared with cheers and applause. Incidentally, Molly is not only slang for ecstasy but is also called MDMA, initials which stand for the brain frying chemical formula in Ecstasy. “Coincidentally,” MDMA is similar to the name of Madonna’s album which was released just days later, entitled MDNA!

A Dead Mouse Speaks

Madonna’s promotion of ecstasy before 150,000 youth was immediately condemned by a surprising source when Joel Zimmerman, who is known as Deadmau5 and is one of EDM’s most famous producers, went off on his Twitter and Facebook calling Madonna a “F***ing IDIOT” for her “grossly irresponsible behavior.”

Deadmau5 called out Madonna for corrupting youth by using “hipster speak for looking for drugs,” exclaiming “Very classy there Madonna… ‘HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???’ such a great message for the young music lovers.” Deadmau5 condemned Madonna for her “molly talk” because “You have a powerful voice. You’re a role model to 100’s of millions.”

Though Zimmerman makes the theme music for countless drug addicts who use ecstasy, he speaks of its usage as “rampant stupidity that’s plagued my favorite type of music,” and says “It really hurts me to see rampant avocation of extreme bull**** lifestyles.” While both Cyrus and Madonna tried to calm the outrage of what most saw as the obvious glamorization of illicit drugs by denying they were referencing drugs, more outrage followed by the public who would not buy into their perceived lies.

Why does Deadmau5 think that promoting Ecstasy is so irresponsible and destructive? Could it be that he knows far more about the deadly affect of ecstasy than the average user at a rave? Some of the reasons may be found in the heartbreaking truth about ecstasy that you are unlikely to learn from those who make big bucks off the lives they are destroying.

What is Ecstasy?

Ecstasy is an illegal “Schedule 1” controlled substance, classified with other dangerous drugs like heroin, cocaine and LSD. Ecstasy is classified as such by the Drug Enforcement Administration because it has proven to be a dangerous substance with zero recognized medical use. Ecstasy, which is the popular street name for MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine) is also known on the streets as E, X, XTC, hug, beans, love drug, Adam, Mandy and Molly. Street Ecstasy, while often containing little or no MDMA today, is typically a cocktail of harmful drugs. As the world’s number one party drug Ecstasy is the drug of choice for many young people attending “rave” parties, nightclubs and house parties. It is a witches brew of several synthesized chemicals that gives one a “high” for about three to six hours, with effects somewhat similar to methamphetamine. It is typically sold in pill, tablet and sometimes powder or liquid form.

This Ecstasy “high” becomes addictive for many because it gives one a false sense of well-being and euphoria. It even heightens ones senses and has elements of hallucinogenic properties like mushrooms, mescaline and LSD/acid. While several young people have been deluded into believing that ecstasy is a relatively harmless illegal drug, many suffer brain damage or even die before they find out the truth and it’s too late.

Ecstasy & Suicide

Each year approximately 150,000 youth between the ages of 10 and 24 receive medical care for self-inflicted injuries. Tragically, suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 10–24 in the United States, claiming the lives of 4,600 children annually. Adolescents who are substance abusers are far more likely than others to attempt suicide. Incredibly, suicide attempts among ecstasy users is nine times greater than adolescents with no history of illicit drug use and almost double that of adolescents who had used other illicit drugs only. (Ecstasy Use and Suicidal Behavior Among Adolescents: Findings from a National Survey, 2011. Source).

The “high” that comes from Ecstasy is the result of a psychoactive stimulant that is a neurotoxin that causes a dangerous, unnatural and hefty rise in the brain chemical serotonin. Among the 50 known chemical substances in our brains which hold neurotransmitters and help relay messages, only three neurotransmitters that we know of are affected by drugs: noradrenaline (norepinephrine), dopamine (which is affected by heroine) and serotonin. It so happens that Ecstasy causes release of all three into the central nervous system, with serotonin leading the charge by way of flooding the serotonin system. The ecstasy induced rise of serotonin, while temporally giving an unnatural sense of well being, is soon followed by a significant and reciprocal drop in normal serotonin levels. This leaves many ecstasy users acutely depressed and even suicidal.

Studies have revealed that those who commit suicide more often than not have low levels of Serotonin. While the ecstasy user will experience a temporary boost in serotonin and a sense of euphoria during a weekend of ecstasy use, this is typically followed by a corresponding depletion of his or her Serotonin supply, leaving the ecstasy user with what is often called “Suicide Tuesday” and “Wednesday blues.” Studies indicate that repeated recreational ecstasy users, even after quitting, still have increased rates of depression and anxiety (Verheyden SL, Henry JA, Curran HV, 2003). “Acute, sub-acute and long-term subjective consequences of ‘ecstasy’ (MDMA) consumption in 430 regular users” (Hum Psychopharmacol). Studies have confirmed that suicide victims not only typically have less serotonin in their system, but that serotonin levels can be affected for years after use of ecstasy, owing to the damage of serotonin neurons and receptors, thus causing a decrease in serotonin production (Karlsen SN, Spigset O, Slordal L. The Dark Side of ecstasy, Basic Clin Pharmacol Toxicol. 2008; 102:15–24).

However, it only takes one tablet or pill of ecstasy to leave one acutely depressed and even suicidal. Sadly, suicide is on the rise in the US among young people and drugs like ecstasy have contributed to the heartbreaking loss. Fionnuala Cox committed suicide by throwing herself under a train after ingesting ecstasy for the very first time at a party and subsequently suffering from ecstasy-induced depression.

After Fionnuala’s death, her parents Martin and Nora Cox warned of the horrifying effects of ecstasy, stating the tragic loss of their “beautiful and gifted” 18-year-old daughter “was unbelievable. She had her whole life ahead of her. We had no explanation for Fionnuala dropping out of our lives and no understanding of how something like this could happen.” Mr. Cox found out the hard way that “Something that gives you a high, at some point you get a corresponding low.”

Nicholas Saunders, who wrote E for Ecstasy, was confronted on a television show by a devastated couple that lost their precious daughter who committed suicide due to ecstasy. Heartbrokenly, they asked him “Have you ever held a warm, dead body of someone you loved from taking Ecstasy? Then you don’t know what you are talking about.” These are real people, with real losses of flesh and blood children that they have loved and poured their lives into, since they were born. Ecstasy, like many other illicit drugs, is no respecter of persons.

Rave Death by Malignant Hyperthermia

While there have been hundreds of deaths connected to the use of Ecstasy, suicide is not the main way people are killed by ecstasy. Our bodies are incredible machines and possess a God given ability to regulate body temperature. However, ecstasy impedes the body’s ability to regulate its temperature, leading to hyperthermia and lethal organ failure. Hyperthermia is the leading cause of death for ecstasy users. Ecstasy users, who try to counteract the threat of hyperthermia by drinking water from bottles and even from toilets, can easily over compensate and suffer cardiac and respiratory malfunction, leading to coma and death. When one realizes that most people take ecstasy while at a rave party, night cub or bar, where they expend an inordinate amount of energy dancing and partying, one can see how easy it would be to overheat and suffer death by hyperthermia. Dancing at a rave party in a crowded room while on ecstasy is the perfect recipe for death by hyperthermia. Dancing while on Ecstasy is like dancing with the devil. Emergency room incidents have “skyrocketed more than 1,200% since Ecstasy became the ‘club drug’ of choice at all-night ‘rave’ parties and dance clubs.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention’s Morbidity and Mortality, reported that in the county of Los Angeles, several people “needed emergency medical treatment after ingesting ecstasy while attending a rave party within 10-12 hours of taking the illicit drug.” Due to the increase of such emergencies connected to ecstasy and raves in Los Angeles, the L.A. Coliseum and Sports Arena imposed temporary bans for such events.

Sadly, a 15-year-old girl by the name of Sasha Rodriguez went to the Electric Daisy Carnival rave on June 27 of 2010 at the Los Angeles Coliseum. She ingested ecstasy, believing that she was going to have the time of her life. Disastrously, the ecstasy caused Sasha to lose oxygen to her brain and she ended up suffering seizures in the ambulance on her way to the hospital. By the time Sasha arrived at the hospital emergency room she was already in a coma and eventually died. The Los Angeles County coroner’s officials stated that Sasha died as the result of an overdose of ecstasy. Approximately 120 more people who attended the same event had to be taken to local hospitals, mostly for drug intoxication. Los Angeles would end up terminating the date for another rave planned for later that year, on Oct. 30 at the Los Angeles Convention Center (Los Angeles Times. August 31, 2010).

Brain Damage

Mounting research reveals that ecstasy causes serotonin levels to drop below normal, impairing the brain’s ability to learn, retain information and regulate mood. This is because ecstasy causes serotonin receptors to shrink from overuse, inhibiting serotonin to naturally fire in the brain. Studies suggest that people, who have never taken ecstasy, have more functioning serotonin receptors in their brains than those who have used Ecstasy.

Lead author Dr Daniel Wagner of a University of Cologne study on Ecstasy, found that the memories of ecstasy users, after just one year of usage was profoundly deficient in comparison to those who did not use ecstasy in the study. Dr. Wagner concluded, “Our findings may raise concerns with regard to MDMA use, even in recreational amounts over a relatively short time period.”

Professor Daniel Fatovich, in his world-first research on ecstasy and the brain at Royal Perth Hospital, found that one in five Ecstasy and amphetamine users suffered brain damage including brain scarring and even “significant” brain shrinkage. He treated a woman who had a serious seizure after her first usage of ecstasy and found from MRI imaging, that she had suffered “acute” brain “injury”. A year later, she still suffered a loss of short-term memory. Incidentally, one study found that women who use ecstasy are even more vulnerable to brain damage than men. Even more disconcerting is the fact that memory lapses associated with Ecstasy are similar to those that occur in the early onset of dementia.

Professor Daniel Fatovich warned that such brain scarring leads to horrific problems with age, “You are much more likely to get dementia, cognitive decline, declining in you brain function, have a stoke or to die.” He concluded that it is because people assume ecstasy is safe that “I think it is so dangerous”.

While some studies indicate that some brain damage may be partially reversible in ecstasy users after they become drug free, the best policy is to never take ecstasy or to stop immediately to avoid brain damage altogether (Research on Ecstasy is Clouded in Errors, Donald G. McNeil Jr., New York Times, December 2, 2003).

Ecstasy’s Horrific Side Effects

While many who take Ecstasy for raves often suck on baby pacifiers to keep themselves from clenching and grinding their teeth, grinding ones teeth is among the least of concerns for those using Ecstasy.

While Ecstasy, like the devil himself, promises a short cut to bliss, it does not take long before it robs you blind and destroys ones potential and the quality of ones life. Ecstasy, in time, even destroys ones ability to derive joy from things that once were taken for granted. Think Magazine speaks of the diabolical shift that takes place from the evanescent joy that one first experiences when on ecstasy, to a life of misery and bad health that results from continued ecstasy usage. The article states:

“The agony and the Ecstasy. Everyone’s got a horror story…. Whereas post-club comedowns were once full of the joys of spring…. lately there has been a strange shift in conversation. Talk now centers around ailments, gripes and groans about boils, back-ache, projectile vomit, and blackouts. Everyone would agree there’s nothing worse than sitting in a room with a group of self-obsessed junkies dissecting their abscesses and bowel movements, but the less savory stories which have emerged around E-culture seem to have been accepted as part and parcel of an ever expanding scene…. Ecstasy may seem like a fun drug to use while clubbing, but both the short and the long term effects can be devastating, and have in fact resulted in a number of deaths among users over the years.” (Source)

Any number of side effects from the unnatural, stimulant ecstasy are typical among all users to one degree or another and many are absolutely horrifying. Ecstasy side effects may include:

Nausea, blurred vision, rapid eye movement, faintness, chills, uncontrollable sweating, aggression, irritability, anxiety, severe depression, prolonged suicidal thoughts, serious psychotic episodes, loss of appetite, poor judgment, fatigue, confusion, trouble concentrating, sleep disturbances, anxiety, illusory affection, paranoid delusions, addiction, headaches, panic attacks, loss of memory/mental cognition, fatigue and exhaustion, lack of focus, dizziness, degenerated nerve endings, impulsivity, lightheadedness, vertigo, involuntary twitching, hot flashes, backache, tooth problems, cramps, susceptibility to flu/sore throats, decreased motivation, Gastrointestinal problems including diarrhea or constipation, insomnia, muscle/joint problems, teeth grinding, jaw soreness, hyperthermia, a sensation of demonic possession, aspirating (suffocating) on your own vomit, Internal bleeding, rapid breathing, heart palpitations, circulatory problems, chest pain, cardiovascular system failure, kidney damage, liver failure, organ damage, stroke, brain damage, coma and death.

Drugs Kill & Psychotic Episodes

The director of substance abuse at New York University School of Medicine stated in a USA Today news article that it is common for young people who use ecstasy to become psychotic, disoriented and delusional. For example, one girl at a rave sought to have a sexual relationship with a tree in broad daylight before many onlookers, while a young man thought he was a fly and continued to bounce his head against a window. Since ecstasy possesses extremely potent, mind altering, hallucinogenic properties like LSD (Lysergic Acid), mescaline and mushrooms, psychotic episodes are inevitable in some users. Such mind altering properties leave ones mind vulnerable to the dark caverns of the human psyche and diabolical forces that are not fully understood, which could result in tragedy or even death.

While 17-year-old Tyler Hadley was holding a house party in his parent’s home, his poor parents were laying dead in a locked room. He told his best friend Michael Mandell that he had murdered them before the party, and that he was motivated by the drug ecstasy, and “the devil possessed him.” Police would discover just an hour and a half after the party that Tyler had bludgeoned his parents to death with a 22-ounce hammer. “‘I feel like this kid that I’ve known all my life, I don’t know him,” Mandell said. “His family was my family. They were very good people. I really don’t see any motive besides drugs.” Michael Mandell further explained “He took three ecstasy pills before he did this. He said he couldn’t do it sober.”

Such grief runs so deep that the consequences go way beyond the ecstasy victim and affects the families of those who have lost their loved ones to drugs. Roy Allison Sr., suffered intense and unbearable grief after losing his only son Roy Allison Jr. His 28-year-old son was a cage fighter and jiu-jitsu instructor who overdosed on Ecstasy. Roy Allison Sr. avenged the death of his son by stabbing his son’s ecstasy dealer, Duncan Bell, to death. He described Bell, as the biggest drug dealer in the area, and believed Bell to have given his son the fatal dose of ecstasy on his birthday. “I believe it is right for me to rid this scum from the community,” Allison wrote in a letter to Peterborough Telegraph. Subsequent to the murder of the alleged drug dealer, Allison hung himself in the same cemetery where his son had been buried. The postmortem of his son revealed his blood contained potentially fatal levels of ecstasy.

Russian Roulette & Ecstasy Addiction

Ingesting Ecstasy is like playing the deadly game of Russian roulette with a loaded revolver. However, rather than just one bullet, there are several left in the chamber. In other words, as deadly as ecstasy can be, it is usually mixed with other drugs that are usually even more deadly and the user rarely knows the precise makeup of an ecstasy tablet.

Most ecstasy that people are ingesting off the streets today is less than 10 percent pure and is full of other drugs and toxic stimulants like methamphetamine, cocaine, heroin, rat poison, dog deworming substances, MDA, PMA, PMMA, DOM, LSD, DOB, etc. Many of these drugs are highly addictive and can stimulate permanent psychosis and are responsible for multiple ruined lives and deaths. Methamphetamine, for instance, is highly addictive with a 94 percent recidivism rate; meaning only about six percent of meth users will ever be free from the drug once they start. The ingredient PMMA that finds its way into ecstasy is known as Dr. Death on the streets because of the many lives it claims. The reality is that whether we are talking about pure MDMA or ecstasy laced with other drugs, the end result for too many people is an untimely and tragic death. Incredibly, Liquid ecstasy is actually GHB (gamma hydroxybutyrate acid) and is comprised of substances that are actually used in floor stripping solvents and drain cleaners and is also a notorious “date rape,” drug.

Ecstasy is classified as an illegal addictive substance because after experiencing the initial surge of serotonin and then suffering the consequent depletion of serotonin levels in the brain, the ecstasy user often doesn’t feel “good” again until he compensates with more ecstasy usage. Since tolerance levels develop against ecstasy, the user needs more of the drug in an effort to experience the initial buzz after diminishing returns. Thus begins a viscous cycle of addiction and dependency as one is left chasing the elusive dragon. This often results in doing more and more drugs and causing more and more brain damage.

About 43% of ecstasy users meet the criteria for drug dependence, according the National Institute on Drug Abuse. According to the journal Addiction just 10 Ecstasy pills a year is enough to be considered an addiction. The fact that there are drug rehab centers in nearly every state of the US that deal with the scourge ecstasy addiction, reveals that many have acknowledged that they are suffering from enslavement and dependency to the drug.

The Really Good News

Ecstasy is like the devil’s rat poison. It is often marketed to look like cute candy and allures us with promises of happiness, but in the end it always delivers misery. It shuts down the alarm sensors in our bodies, destroys the temple that God made, causes brain damage, leads to suicide and psychotic episode, ruins families and kills its victims. At the beginning of this expose I pointed out that an ABC story stated “it is almost as though some clever marketing wizard came up with a campaign for it.” The truth is that God reveals that there is indeed wizard like entity working behind the scenes, pulling the strings. The book of Revelation states that Satan “deceives the whole world” (Revelation 12:9) and that one means by which he deceives the lost world is via illicit drugs (Revelation 9:21, Revelation 18:23 Revelation 21:8, Revelation 22:14-15). God employs the Greek word pharmakeia, and its cognates, to warn about drugs that alter ones consciousness and opens ones psyche to the dark realm of the spiritual world and even demonic possession. These words have been translated in bible translations as druggings, dope peddling, witchcraft, sorcery, etc. God reveals that those who refuse to turn from pharmakeia will be sentenced to the lake of fire for eternity (Revelation 21:8, Revelation 22:14-15).

The good news is that no one needs to remain addicted or enslaved to illegal drugs, or to any sinful or destructive vice that would keep one in spiritual and physical chains of bondage. In fulfillment of biblical prophecy, God became a man in the person of Jesus Christ to destroy the works of the devil and to set the captives free from sin and bondage. Jesus declared:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18)

If you are using ecstasy or any other illicit drugs you are engaging in criminal activity. The Drug Enforcement Administration classifies ecstasy as a Schedule I illegal drug.

The truth is that as humans we are all criminals before God, who is perfectly righteous and holy. We have all sinned and broken His moral law of love and deserve death (Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23). The good news is that Jesus, in His great love, paid for your crimes against Him and others on the cross with His death. Since we deserve to die He paid the high cost of our fine before God by lovingly and sacrificially giving His own life on our behalf. That is the only way we could possibly be saved from the just judgment we deserve. He came to set us free from the tyranny of sin and death. Jesus said “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:32, John 36)

God created you to thrive without the help of illicit drugs and wants you to thrive with normal serotonin levels, and experience the joy and peace that comes from being in a right relationship with Him! God, who made you and loves you, wants you to experience the life that He offers you, to the fullest. Jesus Christ declared, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). God reveals in His word, the bible, that there are dark satanic forces that seek to delude us and lead us down the broad road to destruction. However, Jesus said:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).

Jesus, your creator, is the narrow road that leads to life and eternal life Himself. He said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Dear friend, God calls you to forsake ecstasy and whatever vices you are holding on to and to embrace Him as your Lord and Savior. If you turn from the broad road of rebellion against God and embrace God’s gift of eternal life in Christ, you will pass from spiritual death to eternal life. Jesus said:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17).

Dear friend, God also promises to give you the power to overcome addiction and enslavement to sin. God states in His Word that the good news of Jesus Christ is the power of God to salvation/deliverance to everyone who puts their trust in Him (Romans 1:16). God promises to deliver all those who call upon His name (Romans 10:9-13). Don’t allow Satan to rob you of this great opportunity to have eternal life. Surrender to God now, before it’s too late. Don’t gamble with your eternal soul. The odds are to great, the stakes are too high and eternity is too long!


  1. DJ fuzzy shit

    this is coming from a raver, who loves music and I truly believe that god has sent me here.

    Ive done drugs on and off for many years. and i have traveled the world.
    also this is from the perspective of someone who smokes weed.

    ecstasy is the WORST drug in the world. its an abomination. its so deceptive.
    its joy is FAKE. how i despise the woe.

    at its best you will wake up with 325290 phone numbers of people you met that said they were your best friends. all of them rolling told you how much they loved you. you probably gave others the same comfort.
    fake relationships. and fake dreams.

    i still love raves. but pay attention to whos actually doing well.
    every successful dj i have met is completely drug free much like dead mouse, and those that do party drink sparingly or just smoke weed.

    this drug is demonic. it has caused me to derail my life and i am so sorry for thinking it would save the world.

    I can’t apologize enough. I was on it. I gave the stuff out for free. i love to rap too and tech n9ne was doing it. so i started rolling too.

    my body and soul were wrecked.

    it is the worst drug ever. and the fact that it induces “fake love”
    is downright twisted.

    its worse then meth.
    it mimics childlike innocence, sense of play and unconditional love, and it mocks it later.

    i think its the direct cause of the rise in youth sociopathy

    there are healers in the rave community that speak out against this.

    let me rephrase this another way.

    I have never met a single rising star DJ or musician that did that crap.
    and the majority of them dont do anything else either, in fact they eat healthy and workout.

    thankfully im wiser now, and healthier. i feel i lucked out. i am so sorry for those less fortunate. and i am so sorry that this woe continues to affect the living.

    magick is real and God teaches us not to trifle with it for a reason.
    and MDMA is the blackest of magicks.

    Im casually christian but i need to read the bible more.
    im pretty liberal and yet, i cant speak enough warning.

    anything that mimics the kingdom MOCKS the kingdom.

    anyways, thats my 2 cents.

    fyi, to anyone who says: “oh its just my brain, you only live once lol”
    your brain is the seat of your soul.
    you have a spiritual body too.
    it doesn’t just cross the blood brain barrier.
    you can fuck up your spiritual body in this life.
    this is terrible knowledge that i didnt find out through the bible.

    im sorry america, Im sorry hiphop, and my heart goes out to yall and young people in my favorite music scene.

    thankfully im not the only one. there are healers that know the spiritual realms more then i do. they attend these raves to watch out and minimize the damage of demonic forces

    in mount shasta, ca where the hippies chill, the Navajo watch out for them as well.

    practice your craft, love your parents, find GOOD friends who REALLY love you. find real love in God and jesus.

    and there are DJs like myself and our beloved dead mouse that are taking the platform of REAL love. not fake love.

    be well, also i find myself drinking lots of coffee since i came out my rolling phase. perhaps that might help some of you.

    i encourage you to get out of your house even if the depression is unbearable. just getting fresh air is unbelievably restorative and you will alleviate some guilt about being a shutin. not saying any of you are. but i just trying to be helpful.

  2. Alejandra

    First off, I want to say that up until this moment, I thought I was the most miserable person on earth and that God had punished me for having done what I was not supposed to.
    Over a year ago, I was coping with a severe depression after a 3 year relationship break up. I abandoned church, my real friends and left God aside. I started to contemplate new ideas of how being a bad person would satisfy me. I did not want to feel weak and unwanted anymore. I was struggling with so many things, with family, school, immigration, work, and to cope with all the stress I dedicated a lot of time to the gym and to compulsively buying and shopping. I felt that I was happy because I felt in control of my life. More so, I decided that it was a good idea to move to New York City with the selfish ideals of chasing a new dream and wanting to acquire more than I had.
    It was only within two weeks of having moved to NY that I was invited to an afterparty of no more than 10 people. I was so surprised to see the couple who welcomed my supposedly called “friends” and I, so happy and excited. I did not know that they were consuming drugs until they offered the other guys whom I was with some white pills which they called Molly. I had no intention of ever trying drugs in my life and I was convinced that God, even if I turned away from Him, would have to protect me no matter what while I did bad things. Well, one of the guys at the party offered to share a pill with me and, it was the only Ecstasy pill I ever took. I started to feel happy as never in my life and I only thought in my mind of how stupid are those who speak against drugs. I was thinking “This is Life”. I was experiencing a joy, an ecstasy in abundance. The after feeling however, you can imagine. I began to feel the complete opposite and I felt as if everyone in that room was going to kill each other. I then, ran out and grabbed a cab and went home. As I was riding in the cab, I could sense demons all over me. I never experienced such hatred… When I got home, I began to hallucinate, thinking the devil was going to kill me and I ran out of the building, and started crying for help… I was confused, I could not move and felt as if I was going to have to kill myself no matter what. It was a strange force controlling my brain… Someone then called an ambulance and I was brought to a hospital where I was given IV. This episode lasted for about 2 hours but then, I returned to my normal stage. I was so grateful, so relieved. It was beyond traumatizing to see all of my fears come to life in an instance.
    I wished that was the end to my story but it isn’t. After that experience I decided to go back home. I found a new job and I tried to continue my life as I could. I was happy but still regretting all of my actions. It wasn’t until I met a guy at work, whom I used to see at a prayer group when I was in the paths of the Lord, that I felt the immediate need to confess and go to communion. I also wanted him to like me, but for whom I was before. One day after, while confessing with a priest, one guy entered the confessionary and started insulting him. I did know that I was going to have a fight to go back to the person I was before, but I did not knew that the mental fight was about to begin. Every day at work I began to have uncontrollable thoughts, they came with great regret of the things I had done. I also began to have thoughts of other people, while looking at them, a voice in my head would list all of their faults and I knew it wasn’t me because that thought made me suffer. Things just got worse, to the point that I had to flee from work, thinking something was going to happen and that I was going to die. This was two months after I took the drug Molly. One day, I woke up and it was the worse day of my life. I started hallucinating again, as I had when I was under the effects of that drug. I was thinking it was my judgement day and I started seeing my fears come alive again. I began to pray with obsession but felt greatly regretted by God. I was having a psychotic moment and so my mom brought me to the hospital, where I was given pills and stayed for a week. Since then, I have not been the same. There has not been a day in which I feel happy. I can’t enjoy the things I did before or have a moment of peace. The damage that this substance did to my brain is irreversible. I have dreams every time I fall asleep, extreme sadness, extreme pain, depression, no energy at all, I always feel anxious, any sudden noise scares me… I had to stop going to school and all of my dreams have been ruined. It was my responsibility. I was the only one who put myself into that position but sure, how can one know? I was so ignorant and now I pay the consequences. I have been desperately looking for spiritual help and guidance but I sometimes think it is not possible to reconstruct what has been damaged. I only know God is all powerful and is capable of curing. I pray that He can cure us all, your sons, daughters and that he puts angels to protect those young people who are at risk of suffering from any effects of this drug. I think it is an answer from God that I was brought to this website. I thank you because it has been a long and tedious time doing research and trying to find an answer. Now I don’t feel alone and I will fight against evil to find a cure and happiness again.
    Thank you for reading about my experince. God bless

  3. Jeff

    I took ecstasy of and on throughout my twenties and had no idea how damaging it could be. Ten years have passed since the last time I used it and I suffered a mental breakdown that had me strongly considering suicide. I’m slowly getting better, but I can feel my memory is permanently damaged and I have a hard time enjoying anything in life. I hate that I never searched for the effects of ecstasy when I was first offered it. I now feel like all my dreams, hopes and goals for the future are gone and it pains me to think I may never get better and will have to live the rest of my life this way.

    There is some positivity from all of the above. I rediscovered my faith in the Lord, something I lost as a young teenager. I also opened up and came clean to my parents about everything I’ve done along with feelings and issues I had as a child which may have led to me using drugs, especially ecstasy. I’m fighting to continue living and taking it one day at a time.

  4. Rob

    Kristen….I don’t even know what to type. I am suffering EVERY DAY ! I could cry right now knowing / feeling that I will soon be in your place – See my post below. My beautiful boy’s brain has been DESTROYED by that Poison. I am fearful I will “be in your shoes” soon after he takes his own life. I can ONLY HOPE AND PRAY GOD DOESN’T CALL HIS NAME YET !

  5. Rob

    To: “Trying to Save a Soul” – I could almost cry for you young Lady. – I feel your pain, but PLEASE give your mind, body and Soul the time it needs to heal! My 24 y/o Son is now sitting in a Psych Hospital (Silver Hill) in CT after almost 7 long years of suffering from what I hope is reversible brain damage from excessive Ecstacy use. The term Depersonalization is exactly what he says was the result of Chronic use / abuse of that POISON! The problem is today’s street version of the drug often contains Little if any MDMA. My poor Son (May God Bless him) has survived TWO failed suicide attempts in 2016 and I fear his next “try” will be successful. He turned to Heroin use because his depression became intolerable. I’ll PRAY for you and my Son – That God puts you in his gentle hands and rids the Devil that now resides in your minds. God Bless You – Love, Rob N.

  6. Trying to save a soul

    I am a 25 year old mother of 2.I regradably took this drug when I was only 14 years old.it was given to me by my 23yr old cousin at the time who I thought I could trust.I had just lost my dad and had already previously lost my mom when I was 9years old.I was very vulnerable n nieve.took the drug n loved it I had actually felt happiness.so I took it another 5times through out my teenage years.not knowing how dangerous this drug was.I just wish somebody would have warned me of how extremely horrible this drug is.I have fought with severe depression for the past 8years of my life.having suicidal thoughts almost every single day.my mental state to me is pure hell.I do not enjoy one thing. I can not even feel the love for my kids that I am suppose to because of this drug.I can not learn anything new and have severe memory problems.I have been diagnosed with depersonalization disorder and I am a complete mess.can not even look at my self in a mirror have zero confidence n can bearly even hold a conversation with anybody.the world is extremely dull to me.I literally feel like death as if I have no soul.so please anybody that comes across this site that is considering taking this drug or knows anyone who takes the drug please STOP.its not worth the risk even if your friends do it and seem fine every one is different and unless u want to feel the torment of mental illness n end up suffering every day with crippling depression feeling suicidal n never feeling joy.not being able to love your kids and care for them like u are suppose to don’t do it I beg u please dont do it.life is to precious to ruin it with this pill n even if u are already depressed n are thinking what the hell might as well just take it.u will end up in hell.because my life every day second moment of my life feels like hell.

  7. Kristin Blackmer

    My amazing Son, Austin took the Drug Molly on Halloween 2014 and Committed suicide on November 2nd. He was not depressed prior, he loved his family and he loved the Lord. There was no note, all we have is a huge hole in our hearts and so many unanswered questions. If you Kids out there would please stop for a minute and just see what these drugs can do to you. Austin had everything going for him. He was an amazing athlete, tons of friends, beautiful girlfriend, family that loved him so very much! But he made a choice to take the Drug at the party and that choice put him on a downward spiral that I still dont understand. I spoke to him the day after Halloween and he sounded fine, I would never have known he was under the influence of this drug and that the next day he was going to go out in the woods and hang himself. He and I were so close and we talked about everything, but this drug took over his mind and made him do something that I know he never ever would have done! Now I am a Mother that is devastated and I miss my boy so very much.

  8. We know first hand what this drug does to the mind, and souls. It may have been a contributing element of our son’s suicide. Read about Chris’s story at https://www.rememberchris.com

    Chris’Mom, Joyce

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